I always wrote my blog posts in my breakfast nook. It's a little banquette that juts off the back of our house and looks out over Carter Mountain, an apple orchard here in Cville. I've watched the seasons come and go more than sixteen times from this nook, and I'm feeling just a tiny bit sad, as today will be my last post from this place.
We are moving into an old house just a few minutes away. It has a back yard with peonies and lilies. It's smaller, and it's going to be more...delicate...to maintain, but it's been a dream of mine since I was a little girl to live in an old house with a yard and a fence and creaky hardwood floors. I remember staying with my aunt and uncle in North Carolina one weekend when I was just a little girl. They had an old house with a big clawfoot tub and glass doorknobs, and I vowed that weekend that I would live in a house like that one day.
I hope that I can find a place to write in the "new" house that inspires me like this here little nook. Writing here has become sort of an exercise in muscle memory. I always sit cross-legged, and I always have some sort of drink--coffee, water, tea, Arbonne fizz to keep my brain awake. When I sit here, the words just kinda flop out. They're not usually polished, but they've always come from somewhere real. I pray for a place in my new/old home where that kind of inspiration can be learned again.
We move sometime this week. Like most other aspects of our life right now, it's up in the air. N. and I will sometimes text or gchat each other during the day and just say, "so many balls!" (up in the air...).
I'm 36.5 weeks, fully effaced, zero station and 2cm dilated, as of my appointment on Thursday. I have been telling my belly for the past month or so to "stay in there!" like I have any say at all, and last week after my appointment, I started feeling convicted about it.
N. and I spent some time talking to baby girl after that, telling her that, you know what? You can come anytime you please, and we will make it work just fine, honey.
"We are moving to a new house this week, "I told her this morning,"but really that's just a matter of moving STUFF. If you'd like to come on the very day that we hire movers and painters, well, then everyone will survive that. You are welcome here."
I know she doesn't understand the words yet, but I personally think that babies understand sentiment, emotions and energy from the very, very beginnings of their sweet little lives. I just want her to know that she's so much more important to me than any house or moving box or closing date.
I hope that you all are enjoying Spring. We waited so long for it this year, didn't we? I don't think I've ever been more happy to swallow a bucket of pollen every day than I have this year. Bring it.
Farewell, breakfast nook. I hope that your new owners find some inspiration here, too. You have been good to me.