Tuesday, November 12, 2013

An Addition to Bakertown

What, I haven't written in almost two weeks? It's OK. I have a good excuse. A really good, really tiny, really cute, really exhausting excuse.

Bakertown will be growing by one in May, 2014!

N. and I watched Simon take his first steps around his first birthday, looked at each other and said,

"He's not a baby anymore."

He's a speed-walking, talking, independent, big boy now. And even though I swore I'd never do it again, I got a hankerin' for another newborn.

We started praying for wisdom, guidance and for the "right thing" for our family...whatever that looked like.

And then, welp, I was pregnant within a week. H'ok then.

N. and I high-fived each other, then we almost immediately felt an overwhelming burden: why us?

We know so many friends who have struggled and been knocked down by the blows of infertility and miscarriage. I've sent way too many sympathy cards and had far more "I don't know why it's happening to you" conversations than I'd like.

All this to say, N. and I don't take this gift lightly. 

Hearing that heartbeat at our 11-week appointment felt like the greatest gift we've been given since Simon was born. We couldn't stop saying it: Thank you, Jesus.

I won't lie to y'all. That first trimester was uuuuugly. Depressing, almost. Each time I sat up to try and read Simon a book, I'd have to breathe back the puke. I'm not quite sure how, but I survived on peanut M&Ms, saltines and Ramen for about eight straight weeks. I canceled plans. I flaked out on commitments. I was the mom who put on an episode of Thomas and fed Simon cinnamon buns, so I could just lie on the bathroom floor for fifteen minutes. N. did most of the parenting during those first months. He came home from long days at work, fed Simon, fed me, took the dog out, bathed Simon, read Simon books and put him to bed. Then he came down and cleaned the kitchen.

Nathaniel Baker, you are, in fact, my hero. 

As miserable as I was, I knew it meant that someone was working very hard to grow and thrive and develop his or her major organs and even little fingernails inside me. So I tired my darnedest not to complain and to receive it like a gift. 


How am I feeling now? Much less pukey. No more morning dry-heaves into the sink, thankyaLord. Now, I'm feeling terrified. Terrified of labor--that I'll actually die of the pain this time, terrified of having another needy newborn along with a two-year-old (!), terrified that I won't be able to do it all, and N. will leave me for someone who has it all together...

Are these fears crazy? YES.
I'm just being honest. Y'all know that's what I do best.

But most of all, I'm feeling excited. I love an adventure, and this is sure 'gon be one.

xo,

B








7 comments:

  1. congratulations!! i was just thinking about you the other day actually! there's a whole lot more fear and emotions the second time around, maybe because we realize the gravity of the situation having been through it before? i'm glad you're feeling better and hope everything goes smoothly. kind of crazy to think simon will be two by the time the littlest one gets here! the thought of adding another one kind of makes me hyperventilate, but we'll see :)

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  2. sweeeeeet! May babies are wonderful ;) Congrats to your precious family Brett!

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  3. Congratulations! I love your honesty and always appreciate your words. It is pretty much a guarantee that I will smile by reading your blog simply because it's genuine. Thank you!
    And, congratulations on your sweet baby growing inside your belly!

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  4. Praise God! What an amazing thing! I was blessed and sanctified and ... So many things ... With our second. Praying for Gods grace to overwhelm you and your family during this season and the next.

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  5. Love this! So excited for y'all! Will be blog stalking you again :) Our "plan" is to start trying for #2 once LO is 1. (So next July). Love your perspective! They truly are a miracle and gift. (I also said I wouldn't do it again while pregnant, then 2 days after delivery that thought went out the window). May God continue to watch over you, N, Simon, and new baby Baker. Prayers for you all.

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  6. Why does it take my SO LONG to publish these sweet comments? I'm sorry, y'all! Thank you so much for your sweet words! This baby is already so loved. :)

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