Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Fire-Breathing Dragon Mom

I can flat burn through a candle at Bakertown, y'all. As long as it doesn't smell like a Christmas tree/pine/balsam or anything, I'm down. I burned a balsam and fir candle when I was newly-pregnant with Simon and it left me gagging for the next twelve weeks. I'm burning a vanilla-scented one, now. I also just made an at-home mocha. It's primitive: coffee, hot chocolate mix and milk, but it does the trick. Also, it was free. And I didn't have to leave the house, so...

I've gotten a little bogged down lately with the parts of motherhood that polarize us. Moms, I mean. Well, parents. Vaccinations, discipline, schooling, etc. I can't tell you how fired up I get about these issues. They bury themselves in my gut and morph into this fire-breathing dragon mom with little grace for other moms who disagree with me. I think that I excuse myself from these extreme feelings, because I rarely "talk" about them on social media. But you know what? At the end of the day, not having grace is not having grace.

I actually read an article the other day that said non-vaccinating parents don't love their children. Y'all. I'm as pro-vaccination as they come, but this is downright wrong. We are all trying to make the best decisions for our children based on the information we've been given. Some of the information is wrong, badly-sourced, un-scientific (oh, is my opinion coming out....?) but it doesn't make a parent unloving. In fact, any way you fall, it's a hard decision to make.

I found myself seething behind my computer screen yesterday. I felt attacked by another mom. Who hasn't?

And I let myself sit at that computer screen for twenty minutes and fume. In the meantime, Simon was grabbing at my leg, wanting a hug, wanting to read, wanting to have a snack, and I was missing it, because the fire-breathing monster was out and mad about it.

Is it really worth it?

I could present all of the right reasons for public schooling, home schooling, vaccinating, non vaccinating, attachment parenting, co-sleeping, crying it out, self-led weaning, blah blah blah blah blah, and I bet not one mother would change her mind. It would be a waste of time, and I would still be missing out on Simon.

I could make a public vow, I guess, to never Google "the dangers of processed soy" again. But, please. Y'all know I'd break that.

Instead, I'm posting this on my computer screen:

"If I...know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:2




  1. I think we get so passionate about everything because we feel like we HAVE done the research and made an informed decision that's in the best interest of our child(ren). When someone tells us they decided on something different and shares their reasoning it's so darn easy to take it personally and see it as an attack on our parenting (oh that dreaded insecurity we all have deep down). When I first had my son, I researched the heck out of everything. I *knew* (as well as any mom knows) that I was making the best decisions for my kiddo. And then, there was this pressing need to defend my choices, and, sometimes, try and convince others to jump on board my train. One day I realized I was, essentially, trying to "convert" someone to cloth diapers. And I was convicted that if I spent half as much time sharing Jesus as I did sharing my mothering methods, I'd be in a much better place...

    All that to say, I hear ya. I think we ARE supposed to be good stewards of these precious gifts, but also know that for many of these things there are multiple methods that will turn out great kids. (For the record, I'm a slow-schedule vaccinater, (mostly) attachment parenting, cloth diapering, planning to home school mama who, at the end of the day just wants my kiddo(s) to know and love Jesus and that their momma adores them).

  2. Great post - there's been so much non-sensical criticism regarding everything recently, spefically body image and parenting. Ultimately, while it's important to have constructive and meaningful debate (which is such a lost cause on the internet), YOUR family and YOUR values are always #1 and no one can take that away from you.

  3. I could not agree more. Every caring parent does what they feel is best. My main complaint is when parents judge each other without doing research or at least attempting to understand the other side and where another parent is coming from, or without attempting to build any relationship there to get to know the other person as a parent.

    Honestly, I'm kind of scared to have kids because I know my parenting beliefs will separate me from my friends, and I know my family and in-laws will likely judge me. It's hard to come to terms with that sometimes.

    But at the end of the day, you're right: it boils down to extending grace to one another and investing in YOUR little one, and you are doing just that.