Thursday, January 10, 2013

I swore I'd never

There's this adorable commercial with a chubtastic baby in a sink taking a bath, and it says something like "lalalalala...a baby changes everything."

When I was pregnant, I thought "a baby changes everything" was just an overdramatic way of saying that you'll love your kid a lot.

Nope. Wrong. I'm an idiot.

A baby really does change  For me, at least.

But the thing that having a baby changed for the very very most are the things that I swore I'd never do.


1) I swore I'd never act a fool in public just to get my kid to laugh. I always thought, that woman is talking in THE highest pitched-voice ever just so her baby will smile at her. How annoying.

HA! I got stares in the produce section of Harris Teeter yesterday, because I discovered that Simon would laugh at me if  I bent down underneath his stroller then popped up and said "Boo!" I must have done it fifteen times before I moved to the soup aisle. And I didn't care. One. Bit. About the UVA students looking at me like, "Is she seriously wearing slippers in the grocery store?" I'm bulletproof, people.

2) I swore I'd never let the dog lick the baby. 

In my defense, dogs eat their own poop. But when the baby is whining at me to get him out of the Bumbo and I'm trying so desperately to make dinner and the ONLY thing that cheers him up is the dog licking his hands, I justify it by slathering hand sanitizer on him afterwards. It's building up his immune system....????

3) I swore I'd never give my baby formula.

I'd like to go back and slap the childless woman who swore this before. As much as I wanted to avoid it, I had to switch to formula* when Simon was four months old, because I stopped making my own supply. What am I supposed to do? And what about babies who are allergic? And what about babies who get Thrush? And what about moms who's milk never comes in? Did I mention I'm an idiot? Because I'm an idiot.

*(I definitely think that breastmilk is best, but if you're like me and you have no choice, then I emphatically recommend Gerber's Good Start formula. It's more expensive, but it's the only formula I--or my ped--has found that's not loaded with corn syrup. I also think there are ways you can use other women's breastmilk, but I admit that I never looked into that.) 

Those are probably my big three I-Swore-I'd-Nevers. I've also collected quite a few I-Swore-I-Woulds, which is another topic for another day, people.

Lord, forgive me. I was a judgmental jerk.




  1. i think i concur with the first two wholeheartedly. i've been so blessed to still be exclusively breastfeeding london at almost 7 months, but i know i am one of the lucky ones that - despite all our trials and tribulations - overall it's been pretty easy for us to breastfeed. here's a good one: i swore i'd make all her baby food. i made it once. she hated it. it was so much work, and messy, and wasteful. and then i discovered gerber's only ingredients are carrots and water, so why the heck not!

  2. I swore I would never entertain my toddler with an iPhone. But allowing him to watch videos of himself from Christmas is the reason he would sit still for an hour and 1/2 at my OB appointment. I could have stuck to my super-mom convictions. But he probably would have ended up exploring the hazardous waste trash bin.
    One of MANY on my list!

    1. HAHAHAHAHA. That's hilarious. You do what you gotta do, right sister? Conley is so stinkin' cute.

  3. Having friends who have kids is really opening my eyes and teaching me there is no ONE right way to parent...and that I am totally gonna be the mom at the store in slippers. Oh wait. I already wear slippers to the store...

    1. HAHAHA. Welp, you're on the right track, then, I'd say!

  4. My milk never came in, so my child was exclusively formula fed. Despite the fact that she was in daycare and was bottle fed, she got exactly one cold her first year - and that one was the week before her first birthday. In fifth grade she has an extremely high reading level (somewhere around a high school senior) and is in advanced math. Formula fed babies really do turn out okay.

    I think her strong immune system had something to do with the fact that everything went into her mouth. I'd turn my back at the grocery store and she'd be sucking on the handle of the cart. Totally gross, I know. But now she's got a Teflon immune system.

    1. You go girl! I think it's so important to remember that each child is different and has different needs!

  5. Brett, I'm glad to read that I'm not the only one. I tried desperately with my 2nd for 6 weeks and she would just not gain weight. She cried hysterically for 6 weeks, the dr. said it was colic, and really she was just starving! When I tried pumping I was only making 2 oz or less each time! She needed at least 4 oz (and now 8 oz) a feeding and she couldn't be happier now that she's full. Sometimes it just doesn't work, and it's refreshing to hear that it happens to the best of us. I need to look into her formula, though, because I didn't know about the corn syrup!

    1. Oh man! That's almost identical to what started happening to me around 4 months. It certainly does happen to the best of us. I think it's great when moms can be flexible for their babes!