I'm probably ruffling feathers already.
So, let me start off by saying that I don't think there's one's "right" way to do this. I do think that safe co-sleeping or room-sharing and safe separate-room-sleeping are both loving and legitimate ways to parent. I absolutely think that different babies need different things, and different families do, too.
I don't think I'm one lick better than anyone else because of the way we chose to set up our sleeping arrangements, but I do want to share why we chose the set up we did.
For the first weekish or twoish, I had Simon in a little bassinet next to my bed. I would swaddle him like a baby burrito and hold his paci in his mouth 'til he fell asleep, then I would stare at him for an hour....wondering When will he wake up? Should I put his paci back in when it falls out? Should I re-swaddle him? What if he stops breathing?
Looking back, I think the post-partum hormones are mostly to blame for my obsessive thoughts, but nevertheless,
I wasn't sleeping. And neither was he. And neither was N.
Every little noise Simon made would prompt me to check on him and fuss around him to make sure everything was OK. N. would try to talk me down off the ledge, but I had an idea in my head and by golly I couldn't sleep until I put it to rest.
My bed became a stressful environment for me and my marriage.
My marriage was probably the biggest reason why we chose to put Simon in his own room. There are days when I don't see my husband until our heads hit the pillow at night, so we felt like we needed to make our bedroom sacred and set apart for us. We need a place where we aren't mommy and daddy, where we're just husband and wife.
Simon is growing and thriving and happy and healthy. I know he's doing just fine without us at night, so I don't feel guilty that he doesn't sleep with us.
Separate room sleeping was the best decision for our family. What was the best decision for yours?