Wednesday, October 24, 2012

on two becoming one and making a house a home

I am sitting in the breakfast nook eating chocolate chips from the bag. I just put the babe down for his nap and caught up on Dr. Phil.  I got on Pinterest and re-pinned someone's wedding pictures, which made me feel sentimental and nostalgic about my wedding day and newly-married-ness. So much has changed since then! I don't think that almost three years of marriage would make me an expert by any means, but I think I've at least had enough experience to talk about some of the stuff I've learned. I think that marriage gets even more fun and deep with time, and that's probably because during that time, you learn a whole lot about yourself and your spousy-spouse and what makes you happy in your home.

For example, 

What did people do before garlic mincers? Is it just me or does every other recipe call for minced garlic? I'm not quite sure that garlic would ever make it into anything I cook if I hadn't registered for a garlic mincer. This sister does not have the fine motor skills to mince such a small food.

Every home needs a crock pot. I bet that I crock pot at least 2 meals a week, y'all. Seriously- what is better than throwing food in a container after breakfast then having a delicious, hot meal ready that evening? 

Just say what you mean.  I spent far too much time tip-toeing around stuff that was bothering me or hinting to N. about how I was feeling so he would guess and I didn't have to say it. Please tell me I'm not the only gal who has done this. Welp, I've learned that people aren't mind-readers and it works much better if I just SAY what's on my mind. I've learned that you can be respectful AND straightforward. Who knew?! 

"Thank You" will go a long way. I always just thought that the thanks was implied, but the first time I went out of my way to thank N. for working so hard for us every day at work, he thanked me back and talked for DAYYYYYSSSS about how much that meant to him. I make sure to do that more often now. 

Ask for help. We all like to feel needed. Not to mention, N. can take down the umbrella on the back deck with much more grace than I can. 

Just spend the extra few dollars and have a toilet brush in every bathroom. There's nothing less fun than toting fecal matter around the house. 

Learn what's important to each other and try your best to make it happen. N. doesn't really much care that my closet is chronically in disarray or that my side of the bathroom vanity is habitually cluttered with every Bath and Body works product known to man, but it is important to him that I don't leave hair in the shower and that wine glasses be hand-washed and not put through the dishwasher. So I do that, even though I--to be quite honest--think that wine glasses will survive a trip through the dishwasher. If it's important to him, does it really matter that I save those few extra minutes?

If you're wrong, then by golly just admit that you were wrong. This has freed me and made all of my relationships stronger, not just my marriage. Don't justify it. Don't excuse it. Just say, "I was wrong and I'm sorry," and move forward. 

Make the bed every morning and leave the sink clear at night. It makes me feel 100% more productive, even if the rest of the house is shipwrecked. 

Those are just a few things I've learned about my marriage and my life over the past three-ish years. What have you learned, bloggerkins?




  1. Along the same lines of "learn what's important to each other", I try to decide how important something really is to me before I ask my husband to act accordingly. Do I really need to point out to him that he forgot to hang up the dish towel? Sometimes it is about keeping my mouth shut and letting things be.

  2. I love this! I just got engaged this weekend in Charlottesville and it is fun to read about the sweetness of marriage and how it will get better each day. Thanks!

  3. haha, thanks for writing this--such good wisdom! i never thought about how nice it would be to have a toilet brush in every bathroom. we are currently fecal matter reconsidering.

    we've only been at it a year but the best thing we've learned is to allow each other to be human. let giving grace be the default in everyday interactions.

  4. Word of advice... get that boy to wash his own wine glasses! haha