Sunday, April 29, 2012

my birth hope

I've gotten some fan-freaking-tastic advice during this pregnancy, one of my favorites being:

"There are two things you can't get attached to when you're pregnant. One is your due date. The other is your 'birth plan.'"

I think a literal light bulb went off in my head when I heard this. That or my eyeballs probably got really huge and I nodded.

Not that I've ever birthed anyone before, but I have always felt like the phrase "birth plan" is a tad...contradictory anyway. I have a feeling it's not like grocery shopping, where you write a neatly bullet-pointed list and know that you'll be able to find and pay for everything on it.

I have a feeling it's different. I have a feeling it's a lot more complicated than that.

So since folks are starting to ask me what my "birth plan" is, I'd like to announce that I don't have one.

Instead, I have a birth hope. 

I'm believing--first and foremost--that God made my body to do this. It's not something happening to me, but something my body is doing for me. 
I'm educating myself on natural birth.
More specifically, we are studying the Bradley Method.
I'm learning and practicing techniques to help me "ride the waves" of contractions.
I'm taking a wonderful prenatal yoga class, where I'm learning breathing techniques and training the muscles I'll be using to sustain me during labor.
I'm hoping and I'm praying, but I'm not planning, on having an unmedicated, natural birth.

But do hear me, friends, when I say that I would count is a blessing to have that unmedicated experience. Just a blessing, that's all.

I will not and do not think less of myself or any other woman whose birth-hopes are not medically possible for one reason or another. And there are--as I'm learning--a thousand reasons and circumstances. I also believe that each woman has the privilege of praying through and formulating her very own unique birth hope--be it medicated or otherwise, and that no one birth hope is better than another.

At the end of the day (night?), I want to hold a healthy baby and know that the way in which he came into the world is the way in which the Lord intended.

That's my birth hope, y'all. That, and not to poop on my baby boy's head.

You know I couldn't honestly write a whole post on birthing and not post about feces, right?



ps. any comments to this post beginning with "you just wait until" will be automatically deleted...hugs! :)


  1. i love this! i just found your blog recently, but had a baby boy this fall which was a c-section. i had hoped for a natural birth and it bothered me when people would sort of mock the "birth plan" - but birth hope is wonderful & much more true to life.

    1. Thanks, Katie! And congrats on your sweet baby boy. :) And thanks for reading, too.

  2. This is such a wonderful post, Brett. I think we get so caught up in the way WE want things to be, instead of allowing God to play things out according to HIS plan. In the same way, though, that shouldn't keep us from praying and hoping for certain things to happen, and it's a good reminder to still be diligent to pray instead of just sitting back and waiting. I know I will look back and read this post again when I'm pregnant one day - it's such a great reminder! I am so very excited for you :)

  3. Thanks, Rebekah! Yep--I think I have enough control issues as it is; I'm scared/looking forward to God teaching me about HIS plan for things.

  4. I love your wise and humble approach to birth "planning," Brett! It is so easy to idolize our own ideas of the way things should be and then be either devastated when it doesn't work or smug and self-satisfied when it does! I praise the Lord for helping you to think this way and pray that your little boy's birth will be beautiful and unforgettable no matter what the details are.

    1. Thanks, Cara. :) You're right--I think it's easy to idolize the process.

  5. I'm so excited for you Brett. I've been working through the process of becoming a doula and it's been such a blessing to see how amazing birth is when it's done naturally! I hope that your hope come true, and if not, that you process will still be a blessing like no other. Baby Baker is one lucky boy to have a mommy like you:)

    1. I didn't know you were studying to be a doula, girlfriend!!! That's AMAZZZZIIIING! Want to be mine? heehee

  6. great post!! Ben & I have recently started our childbirth classes and have been having a lot of discussions surrounding the delivery process. Birth Hope is a great way to look at it! I've been caveating my desires to death because i know that anything can change in an instant and i have no idea how my body will react, but we're doing the right thing in using the tools available to us to prepare us for this adventure. and when it comes down to it, we're going to have beautiful healthy babies to snuggle no matter how it happens.

  7. What a beautiful and wise way to prepare for your baby's birth. I love your thoughts and agree completely. Can't wait to see pictures of your little one!

  8. beautiful thoughts. I love the recoining of that phrase...Birthing from Within is right up that alley- it celebrates the beauty of being PRESENT in birth- not the accomplishment of a predetermined "plan," but being as present as possible with whatever God intends, whatever happens. You prepare for what you can, and then you trust.

  9. Brett, found your blog since shannon posted it on fb...I, think we met at her wedding least summer (when I was secretly a couple weeks prego). I love this post! I had a hard time expressing my birth hopes as a first time mom (because everyone has an opinion and most aren't "go for it, you can do it!") My hopes ands reasons were identical to yours, AND we did it! We had an amazing natural birth and now I have an 11 week old baby boy:-) I hope we run into
    you again soon! Let me know if you want to get together and talk birth (i love talking about our birth story) or babies!

  10. I commented as unknown...allison kennedy!