This morning, I woke abruptly at 7:10am. I had just dreamt that I had quintuplets--three boys and two girls. One of the girls was african american and had perfectly braided hair when she came out. I was very worried about naming them and asked my mom if she thought the community would pitch in and help us buy more carseats...
I think that I would like to blame this distracted-ness for my wardrobe malfunction today:
After having a lovely lunch at Panera with my good friend and her baby boy, I got up to walk to the bathroom (sidenote: when in doubt--these days--I'm in the bathroom). I noticed that the bottom of my jeans felt funny, like something was coming out of them. (Another sidenote: I had decided to wear my Heidi Klum skinny jeans, because I feel very hip in them and they have a gloriously- elastic waistband.) When I glanced down to see what could possibly have the audacity to agitate my Heidi Klum skinnies and Ann Taylor LOFT sandal look, I was half-embarassed-half-impressed to see that a pair of my underwear was hanging out of the ankle of my jeans, clinging for dear life to the heel strap of my leather sandal. I stopped, stunned, in the middle of the Panera, as folks around me stopped ordering their everything bagels and cinnamon buns to have a look at me: the poor pregnant lady to must now bend down with her protruding navel to rescue the underwear hanging pitifully off of her shoe.
Since my bending over forward days are over, I was forced to pop a squat in the middle of Panera and retrieve my undergarment, which I then carried to the bathroom thinking OK, if I don't shove them in my purse all flustered like, then maybe people won't think it's my underwear. They'll think I just had a black cloth napkin stuck to my foot....
The lesson is this, people: anything worth doing is worth doing well...the first time. If you do something willy-nilly, say, folding laundry for example, then one day, you'll have wayward underwear coming out of your jeans in a packed family restaurant on a Sunday after Church.
That is all.