Thursday, January 26, 2012

I don't sleep through the night anymore. I know, I know "it's practice....bleh, bleh..." Hush.

I kinda want a sign that says, "Yes, I'm having a baby. Walk away now if you're about to tell me how fat I'll get or how sleep deprived I'll be or how much labor sucks or anything that starts with 'You just wait until....'. Please come talk to me if you want to be nice and tell me I'm still pretty and that my baby will be cute. Bye."

Anyway, I get up to pee each night or I'm awoken by a strange dream or Turk jumps on the bed and I instinctively jerk my hands down to protect my stretching belly. After I wake up, I just kind of lie there, squinting at the ceiling because I don't have my glasses on. I usually look fruitlessly at the clock that I can't see, because I'm so darn near-sighted. A few nights ago during one of these waking periods, N. must have been dreaming something fierce, because he violently flipped over from his back to his belly and nailed me in the face with his elbow--yet another moment when adequate vision could have helped.

He apologized the next night before we fell asleep.

"Oh. I hit you in the head last night. Sorry about that." He looked at me wide-eyed, like a little kid about to get punished.
"Yeah, that hurt. That's OK."
Then for some odd reason something came over me and I added,
"Your elbow is like a cat-of-nine-tails."

N. laughed, probably because he knew that I didn't know what a cat-of-nine-tails was...

I shifted in bed, rolling over to face him.

"What's a cat-of-nine-tails?" (I just knew that I had heard the word before, maybe in a movie.)

N. explained to me that it's a type of whip with nine "tails" that have glass or metal on the tips.

He ended with, "It's what they used to torture Jesus."

We both got somewhat introspective then.

I forget the weight of it all sometimes. I forget that an innocent man was actually tortured and prayed for his torturers allthewhile. It seems so far removed from modern life.

I've been thinking about it more since then. It makes me think of a verse,

"He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering familiar with pain....but He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brough us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53



  1. this post caught me off guard....I thought it was going to be something funny about pregnancy or yours and N's cute relationship. so when you ended with a powerful spiritual thought, I was stuff

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. I love your train of thought in this post! It's amazing how the simplest of thoughts can become the introspective and intimately focused on the Lord. Thank you for sharing such a moment.

    By the way, you look pretty and your baby will be gorgeous:)

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.