Sunday, September 18, 2011


I was in Blue Ridge Mountain Sports yesterday looking desperately for a rain jacket. I need one. Badly. There are only so many times that I should be allowed steal N's jacket and poncho myself underneath it whilst sprinting into work. It's time.

I found a nice North Face with the fancy pants Goretex material and whatnot, but the thing was like $200. No sir. Not me. I'm much too stubborn and prideful to pay full price for that puppy. This got me thinking about all of my "will-not"s in life. For example, I will not pay full retail price for clothing. It's a non-negotiable. I have a theory that everything will eventually go on sale. Or I'll find a coupon. Or I'll get a gift card.

I think we all develop these little quirks. I have a sweet friend, for example, who will not touch buttons. They make her gag.

I love hearing folks' will-nots. Here are some of mine:

I will not put my hair in pigtails.
I will not wear leggings as pants.
I will not put my dog in a stroller, or a handbag, or a sweater.
I will not pay for someone to wax my eyebrows.
I will not wake up in the morning without at least one session of a "snooze" button.
I will not sing karaoke. The thought terrifies me. Terrifies.
I will not bite into ice cream or popsicles.
I will not pay to park if there's even a remote possibility of a parallel spot within a half mile.
I will not get completely naked in a womens' locker room. But I don't care of other women do.
I will not wear white, ivory, beige or even a light tan to a wedding.
I will not talk on my cell phone while ordering food, checking out at the grocery store or driving through.
I will not eat a Twinkie.
I will no touch or get anywhere close to a frog or a toad. The only thing worse than something slimy and nasty and squishy is something slimy and nasty and squishy that jumps.

What your will-nots, bloggums??




  1. -I will not step on a 13th stair (ekk just typing it is horrible
    -I will not let a candle burn in a room unsupervised
    -I will not change my celebrity crush from Adam Levine (well unless he goes all (Charlie Sheen)
    -I will not walk alone outside in the dark
    -I will not tell people about my little oddities listed above.... ;)

    Thanks for your list Bratt!

  2. Buttons? That's hilarious! I had a friend in college who couldn't touch naturally all her friends would surprise her and throw velvet stuff at her. :)

  3. I will not share a spoon with anyone. Forks and straws are fine. Spoons. NO.WAY.

    I will not wear a blue tooth thing or hook my phone on my person.

    I will not wear cargos.

    I will not shop at Kohl's.

    I will not eat oysters or drink milk.

    Fun post Brett!!

  4. I will not eat at McDonalds, Burger King, or any of those other fast food places. Ever. Yuck!

    Check out for a jacket--they have just one item at a time at a super discounted price, but rain jackets come up pretty often.

  5. The thought of seeing Turk in a stroller or handbag made me giggle! ;)

  6. Loved this!

    I will not drive a mini-van.

    Haha that's one thing I think about often! :)