Thursday, August 18, 2011

filter it

Marriage: year one, month 8, day 9

Time flies when you’re having fun, y’all. I can’t believe we’re a few short months away from year #2.

When you get engaged, and you start to tell people, you might as well also wear a sign around your neck that says

“give me all of your unsolicited advice and opinions on marriage.”

Anybody hear me?

I got all manner of advice and opinions ranging from,

“You’re WAY too young to get married!” And I always thought Let me get this straight: sixteen year olds can get impregnated by their 17 year old boyfriends and we make TV shows about it, but I can’t get married after I graduate college?


“Whatever you do, don’t ever deny him…you know….in bed.” Uh. OK. Noted?

My point is, whatever you do in life or whatever endeavor you embark on: a new job, your first pregnancy, a big move, a marriage, grad school, a car purchase, WHATEVER it is, folks WILL give you their opinion, and WILL try to convince you that their way is the best way. They might even throw in a few Bible verses to make it sound more holy.

My advice?

Filter it.

It’s hard to get advice that feels like criticism. Well, for me it is.

What I have to do a lot of times is bundle up advice that I get (sought out or unsolicited), take it to the Word, and start sifting. Is this advice rooted in Truth? Is this opinion stemming from jealousy? Does this line up with what I believe?

I discard whatever doesn’t make it through. Toss. Bury. Burn. Whatever. It will really only serve to keep me awake at night.

And even those items that do make it through, I try and take with a grain of salt.

Because ultimately, these life choices are up to my husband, me and our “Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father [and] Prince of Peace.” We’re in good hands, you know? So are you.

Whatever “stage” you’re in, bloggies, I hope that you’re staying true to yourself. I hope that you’re experiencing life to the fullest.

And I hope that you take even my advice with a grain of salt!




  1. Brett, thank you so much for writing. You're the little thoughts in my head that I can't say because I'm bad with words. Is that weird? Should I have filtered this? Oh well... Keep rockin it!

  2. My husband and I are younger too and just celebrated our 2 year anniversary. We got so sick of the unsolicited advice! The worst was older couples that would say "Marriage is hard work" and then look forlornly at us like they had some magical formula and we weren't going to make it. It's like telling expecting parents "enjoy sleep while you can". How is that helpful?

  3. YES! messingwithtexas, we got that, too! You're right---that's not helpful at all. :/