Thursday, June 9, 2011

a month of correction

I haven’t posted much lately. Nathaniel gently keeps bringing this to my attention. And when I do post it’s mostly superficial or devoid of much deep thought.

My thought life has been quite introspective lately. I’ve kept my “aha” moments pretty intimate—between N., myself and close community/family.

I think, sometimes, it’s simply not appropriate to put everything you think or feel or discover on to a webpage. Even an extrovert needs time to deal with her own heart.

Let me digress:

Typically when I post, it’s because I’ve gone through the following process:
1)      Do or experience something meaningful or thought provoking or adventurous or stupid or spiritual or fun.
2)      Digest what it meant to have had said experience.
3)      Learn something new or be reminded of a timeless Truth.
4)      Feel peace.
5)      Write about it.

Over the past month or so, I’ve been hovering around #s 2 + 3.  

God has been revealing things to me about myself that have stopped me dead in my tracks.

He’s used people and circumstances and dreams and Beth Moore (God love ‘er!) to poke and prod at my heart, its intentions, motivations, idols and fears.

It’s been a month of correction. There have been a few hard pills to swallow.

At Portico we’ve been studying a whole lot on Biblical community, keeping one another accountable and correcting one another in love.

I’ve had some people who love me come to me and gently point out to me some areas where my life isn’t glorifying to God. These particular folks have said what they said in genuine love and care and concern. And not only have they earned the place in my life to speak into my heart, they’ve often humbly offered testimony to how they’ve struggled with the same things before. This kind of correction is uplifting, encouraging, humbling and so very, very, very, very, very, necessary.

I think that our culture is quick to react to correction with,

“don’t judge me.”

What then? Do I walk away from people who love me because they’ve hurt my feelings, only to find other people who will eventually point out the same things? Or do I settle for a community where I’m “accepted,” and people overlook my pride, control issues, manipulation and fear so that I can feel good about myself but never grow as a human?

As for me, I’m choosing the correction. I am choosing healthy conviction over shame, and I am choosing to let God grow me into the woman I'm meant to be. I feel free and genuinely loved and I feel that I am growing—as a wife, woman, friend, daughter, sister and investor in the community of Christ.

Pray for me on this journey, bloggies? I'm so thankful for you ALL! 

 Proverbs 1--
 Listen to instruction, and do not forsake teaching.  They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

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