Thursday, April 7, 2011

breaking free

A few weeks ago, Nathaniel gave me flowers. It was an enormous bouquet of roses—pink, yellow, white. So pretty. He walked in the door with that boyish smile that I just love and my heart about exploded from cuteness.

They’ve lasted for so long. I moved them around a bunch because they just looked so pretty everywhere. I wanted to hang on to them forever.

Last night, I was wiping down the counter tops with my beloved Clorox wipes. If you’ve seen me in my house, you’ll notice that cleaning with Clorox wipes is a reverent almost ceremonious time for me. I love it. I need it.

Anyhow, I was cleaning with my Clorox wipes and noticed that the flowers had gotten brown and were starting to drop their petals on the floor. They looked sad and thirsty. I tried to give them a little more water, because I wasn’t ready to part with them. They reminded me of the warm day when Nathaniel brought them home. They reminded me that spring is around the corner.

I reluctantly carried my beautiful flowers out to the deck late last night. It felt like a movie once I stepped outside. I stood and the wind was so fierce. My eyes watered and my hair whipped about my face. I threw the roses over the deck and the petals whirled around by my head. It was like they were unwilling to be let go.

Sometimes, it’s not enough to let something go. Sometimes you’ve got to turn your back and shut the deck door behind you.

I’m doing a fantastic Bible study called Breaking Free by Beth Moore.

I think we all have things that we carry—things that we hate and love all at the same time. Things that we believe about ourselves. Things that we just can’t get over. Things that we really need to let go of, then slam the door and not look back. It’s hard to let those things go.

I’m learning how to. Slowly.

Happy Thursday, people. I miss writing here. I miss the blogosphere community. Thanks for being patient with me while I re-learn what balance looks like.

Love you all,



  1. I did Breaking Free in college and it changed my life. Loved it. Hope you guys are doing well!

  2. Those things, the ones still caught in the whipping wind, most desperately need a Mighty Hand to catch them and give rest.

    Thank you for this post. Blessed by the way God speaks to you so poetically.

  3. I did a Beth Moore study a few years ago and it was phenomenal. She is gifted for sure.

    I wish you posted more frequently! I follow you with my google reader and don't get enough "new" from The Bakery.