Wednesday, December 1, 2010

turbulent

It's my second-to-last day at my current job. I'm sitting at the window looking outside. I can't help but feel a little less pressure to get everything done today. The "OPEN" sign is crooked on the door, but I don't care to fix it. The leaves are twirling outside, and the wind is whirling right along with them. It's mesmerizing. I can't stop staring. I am realizing how my car goes so great with the foliage right now, and how there's a huge, pretty wreath hanging on the fire station across the way. A lot is about to change.

Again.

Oh, life. You are so turbulent. Just a year ago, I was finishing up a million papers, studying for finals, graduating,  putting the finishing touches on my wedding, trying my best to be skinny and moving everything I ever owned into a new house.


But this is why I write, I think. I feel it is my task: to watch what is happening around and inside me, to chew on it, to pray on it, and finally to write it.  I will expand on this in a later post.

I feel, recently, a deep yearning to make this blog more than just a journal for myself. I feel a need to give this thing a direction, a task, a journey. I feel like God may be taking things away from me so that I will focus more on writing.

I don't know yet if this is true or right or connected. All I know is what my gut says,

and my gut says,

keep writing.

So I will.

4 comments:

  1. Ahah - you are thinking! I KNEW it as I thought of YOU today. Yes keep writing, churning, twirling, sharing. Like a girl dancing in the field, enjoy the wind even though you do not know where it will take you (and sometimes it looks messy ) love you, donnamom

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  2. I can relate to this post more than you know :). In a temp job that literally takes me from day to day, not knowing if it will end or become something more, I often feel at a loss for direction, tossed by the wind. For me, instead of writing, my gut says to keep speaking :). Thanks for sharing!

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  3. writewritewrite! i'm not sure you realize how much your way with words blesses people! and...i'd like to add that its due time for a visit. love you butters :)

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  4. You already know what I think. I think God is definitely clearing things out so that you can focus on writing. Your gut is your Holy Spirit intuition. Listen to it.

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