Wednesday, December 22, 2010

nothing gold can stay

I was eating at an authentic greek restaurant yesterday afternoon, feasting on real hummus and stuffed figs when I pulled my email up on N's phone and read a message from Google:

"We've found it necessary to disable your AdSense
account. Your outstanding balance and Google's share of the revenue will
both be fully refunded back to the affected advertisers."

Somehow I have had a lot of "invalid" clicks on my ads, which poses a threat to Google apparently. I'm still trying to figure it all out and see if I can have it appealed. So far, it's looking like this is the end of the road for advertising with Google on my beloved little blog.

Google might as well have stabbed me in the gut. My throat started to swell and I walked outside to cry in the middle of New York City. I only let a few tears come out to tide me over until we got back to our room where N. held me on the bed while I cried into those crispy, starched hotel sheets.

I'm so confused. I thought I had finally found what I was supposed to do.

N. did his best with a crying and irrational me. This can be a task sometimes.

He said comforting stuff like,

people don't read your blog for your ads

and

your writing isn't about how much money you make on it

All of these things are true, but I'm still sad and grieving my little dream of what might have been.

Up until yesterday, I had made approximately $98 on my little blog. It wasn't much, but it was something--a promise of what was to come, I thought.

I'm back to square one, bloggies. And I'm thankful for all of you. I know you don't read this thing to get the Groupons...

I'm believing that God has something different for me--that He had me walk down this particular road to learn, grow and ultimately discover something different & better.

Today I'm believing that  His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

It's another beautiful day today in the Big Apple, and I'm going to enjoy it. This is nothing if not a bump in the road, and I'm not going to let it get me down anymore today.

Instead, I'm going to eat a hot dog from a vendor, mosey wide-eyed into Macy's, and wear my new belt from the Times Square anthro ($15, people!).

Mad love to you all & thanks for "listening"

B

5 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear about your Adsense account. There are other ways to monetize your blog, though. I haven't figured them all out, but I know there are!

    Also, check out the SoHo Anthro if you have time. I LOVED the installation art at this one when I was up in NYC last year. Plus, thier sale section is the biggest I have seen. Ever.

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  2. I can identify with this my sister.... remember this summer's blog snafu? Remember my freaking out reaction to just quit writing altogether because it wasn't worth the pain? Keep pressing on! N. is right on with his wisdom...you do it for the joy it brings- cause you're the joyful girl (Ani DiFranco)...and God honors perseverance to what he has planted within you. Sometimes it is labor to bring it forth.

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  3. A few things:

    1) I don't know you and you don't know me; I found your blog while perusing Textbooks and Cookbooks.

    2) I love your blog!
    2b) I like your blog better without the ads :) (sorry, I understand that you don't get paid without the ads but your hubby is right, people don't read your blog for the ads)

    3) Your house is adorable! (from what I saw in your Christmas decoration video)

    4) I don't know you (refer to comment 1) but you seem like a great person and well deserving of a GIFTED trip to NYC :) Don't let other people make you feel badly!

    5) I can't wait to follow your blog daily now as I've added you to my homepage tabs!

    6) I hope I don't seem like a creeper/stalker, that was definately not my intent!

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  4. @HAYLEY--Ummmm.WOW. Thank you! Kindest words EVER! Can we be friends?

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  5. Don't worry Hayley, Brett loves people like you. She's a creeper/stalker, too. ;)

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