Monday, July 12, 2010

all in a day's work

I haven't blogged in a healthy half month or so. I think this is for two reasons:

1) Nothing uber-special/crazy/exciting/funny has happened to me recently
2) I don't want to become the girl who only blogs about her dog/her dog's feces

That said, today was literally the most eventful day I've had since....well, maybe since ever. And it's definitely worth blogging.

But, before I get started, I need to diverge from my promise not to blog too much about #2 (literally, ha!) and tell you what my dog pooped out yesterday morning:

an entire paper towel.

I could not make this up. Turk thought he was "done" and went about frolicking in the yard, only to realize soon thereafter that he had paper towel dangling from his....butthole. Is it ok to say "butthole" on your blog? My sister blogged about her diarrhea the other day. So I vote yes.

Without further delay, I shall list in typical Bakery-bullet-pointed-fashion, everything that made my day uncharacteristically eventful and therefore, totally bloggable:

1) The day started with an 8:27am phone call from one of my dearest friends, Seth, who has just returned home from Italy, and who was conveniently traveling through Charlottesville and wanted to stop in. Delight. We gossiped and played with the dog and hugged and he brought me a travel mug from the Starbucks in LONDON. Does he know me or does he know me? He knows me.

2) I volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center, which shall remain unnamed as I am sworn to confidentiality upon threat of death, kind of. This adventure is pretty eventful on any given day, but the real drama came as I attempted to leave the property after my shift:


two miscreant homeboys decided to saunter up to my car and offer me "yellow flowers for a girl in a yellow car." If there is one thing I've learned about myself in high-stress, high-danger, highly-offensive, fight-or-flight situations, it's that I'm definitely fight. I asked the guys to leave my car alone, and they proceeded to attempt to get into my car. This was not ok with me.  So, I proceeded to scream everything I could think of at them, which at is turns out, was highly-ineffective and a tad monotonous:

"Get away from my car!'
"Get out of here!"
"Are you crazy? Step away from my car!"
"Go away!"
"Get away from me!"
"Go away!"
"Go away!"
"Go away!"*

I drove away, and everything was fine.

*I know that these are the thing I was screaming, because I was on the phone with my brother-in-law who is at present re-telling me his account of the situation.

3) I took Turk to the vet today for his last few shots. I was in line paying for the services when I hear a voice behind me asking,

"May I pet your dog? Is that a Vizsla?"

I mindlessly say "yes" as I turn around to discover none other than Sissy Spacek:

(this is Sissy Spacek).

Yes. Sissy Spacek asked to pet my dog. I told Turk that she was famous and Sissy Spacek got awkward and  changed the subject to her kitten who had a small case of conjuctivitis. Really, this happened.

4) I am now eating many dollars worth of Thai food with N. and my sister and brother-in-law. They have just begun a month-and-a-half long road trip with their three youngins and vanagon:

The vanagon broke last night, so now they are hanging at the Bakery until the van is mended. I sent Trinity a text today, saying that I secretly hoped the van would take a while to fix because I love having them around. Tonight, we will eat copious amount of take-out, drink lots of beer, and play a game of dominoes called Mexican Train. Right now, my nephew, Gabriel has taken off his pants and is telling me "happy muders day, pet pet" (which is what he calls me). 

That was my day, July 12, 2010. A happy muder's day indeed.


  1. BRETT. I love your blog and everything about you. you are hilarious and your dog is cute and i LOVE that you were awkward with Sissy Spacek because SERIOUSLY, as much as I'd love to think I'd be all cool about meeting a celebrity, I know I wouldn't.

  2. Goodness girl! And I thought life in the ATL was crazy! Glad that your safe and that you enjoyed celebrity sighting:) I saw spike lee in the airport coming from Haiti and I just about passed out;p

  3. Whatever... I'm "that girl" you wrote about. You know, the one who writes about poop. Blog worthiness abounds.

  4. What is it about blogs and poop lately! Even I went down that road, and you know how I feel about that subject!

    Also, I'm not sure if I admire your sister-in-law or think she's nuts for taking a road trip like that with 3 small kids, especially without benefit of a built-in DVD player. :-) She is a brave, brave woman!

  5. Brett - it was so good to see you (though only shortly!) at the beach. I would love to come down to Charlottesville and see you and Nathaniel sometime soon. Also, I have been a closet reader of your blog for some time now. I just don't ever leave comments :) I love your blog and your writing style!