Friday, April 16, 2010

my vows to N.

In his book, As for Me & My House, Walter Wangerine, jr says that marriage begins at the vows. It begins when these spoken words are loosed into the air and on the ears of a couple's community. With their vows,  a couple makes a contract that is binding, unwavering and secure in front of a community who will support them, and will keep with accountable to their words "unto death."

I would like to post my vows here, because I believe that I have inherited an encouraging circle of blogettes. I have been blessed and enriched by all of your comments. I can't believe how many "friends" I've made through such a site as this--that started so small and insignificant.

So, as I loose these words unto the blogosphere, words that are so precious to me, I hope that I make myself transparent--that you could feel free to hold me accountable if I ever, ever waver in them. N. and I have had 3 richly-blessed months of marriage, largely, I think because the Lord has given us a strong community of people who love Him and us. I covet your encouraging words and thank you for them, also.

January 9, 2010:

I’m overwhelmed that God chose me to stand here with you today. I’ve never experienced such absolute joy as this past week. Finally, I am your bride. The happiness, calm and peace I’ve felt this week, after such a hard year, is indescribable--the kind of peace and joy that can only be because God has written and is writing our story.
When I was going through my old closet this week, packing and pouring over all of my old things, I found an old box. It has cut-out hearts and song lyrics written all over it. But inside, I found an old piece of paper. It was dated March 12th, 2003 and it was a list entitled “My Dreams.” On it were points like “I want to sing,” “I want to live on lots of land” but the last item on the list was in all capital letters and my dream was: “FOR GOD’S PLAN FOR ME TO BE MORE THAN I COULD IMAGINE.” And doesn’t He give us our hearts’ desires? 
You, Nathaniel, are more than I could have ever imagined. You exceed all of my dreams. And with that said,
I vow to remind myself daily that you are God’s beloved and only secondly, mine.
I vow to remain faithful to you, to keep our blessed covenant beautiful and untarnished. 
I vow to explore your dreams with you, every single inch and possibility. 
I vow to go where you go, to turn my back on the world before ever turning it on you.
I vow to trust you with my heart. I know you will protect me, and it. I vow to honor you and respect you as your wife and your partner.
I vow always to pray for you and never to stop.
I vow never to let you stop writing music.
I vow to cherish the day to day with you—to squeeze the toothpaste from the end and not the middle.
I vow to love  as you are—obsessive/compulsive as you can be. And I vow to fold your clean t-shirts how you like—stackable.  
I vow to buy Chipotle when you have a bad day. I know: burrito bowl, with chicken, extra rice and pinto beans, not black.
And mostly I vow to be my best to you before I have my coffee.

:: in the video I pause here, because I have yet another written page of vows, and our guests start to laugh. We laugh too. SO typical::

I love you, Nathaniel Baker, and everything about me loves you. To say that you’re a dream come true would be far too inadequate.  You’re the most incredible man I’ve ever met, and by far, my favorite person in the world.  I know I’ve said it a million times, but:
I love you, every day.
For you, a thousand times over.


photos by: Joel Mills & Job Schaaf with


  1. I was honored to be a part of the ceremony - where I first heard these vows. I continue to be honored by our friendship, and that through Christ we are sisters for eternity.

    May this love - be like a mighty oak, strong and unyielding. Although still so young in your marriage and in years, may this love and covenant with N. and your Beloved grow every day. May its roots be nourished and the growth know no bounds.

    As you are blessed by All Mighty God - you are a blessing to those who share in your life.
    I love you very much!!! Blessings ~ tici

  2. I always have to brace myself for your posts about marriage, because chills and tears and inevitable.

    And even though I barely know you, what you share here is so beautiful and refreshing and vulnerable and encouraging that I squee a little bit every time I see a new post or photo.

  3. Watching the video of you reading this on your wedding day brought me to tears! The love that was pouring out of you in those moments was so apparent in your eyes, your smile, and beautiful words:) I can't even begin to tell you how much joy your happiness has brought me!I love you extraordinary lady!

  4. So beautiful, Brett. Thank you for sharing those words. A great reminder.

  5. Your wedding vows bless,challenge and inspire me.

  6. for some reason, the thing that sticks out most about that whole day, is the words.."and doesn't He give us our hearts' desires?" i will distinctively remember that part of your wedding. it was the way you said it combined with the truth of the statement that startled me. (contended sigh)

  7. oh brett! you and your words are so beautiful! they're very encouraging. i recently commented on my sister's blog that you must live to the fullest and sing to the Highest everyday. you and nathaniel are so great together. everything about you guys seems so right, so real, so perfect. i pray that it will forever be this way for you guys!

    we missed you this past weekend!! let's hangout soon, please!! maybe a walk one evening perhaps?!