Thursday, February 11, 2010

what to do with all this esther-ogen

I've just started a study of Esther via a Beth Moore dvd. There is arguably nothing that makes you feel more like a woman than a conference full of XX chromosomes and a fiery blonde with an accent preaching the Word from a pulpit.

As a new wife, it is minutely that I discover new facets of being Woman. Never so quickly does your identity change from young woman to Woman as with the marriage dynamic.  All of this inertia puts me in a place of feeling a great need to douse myself in the truth of God's Word. Without it, I believe that I would quickly let myself become merely an object of institutionalism or a performer in the act of homemaking. There are times when I almost let myself confuse performance with servitude:

I am only as good as the casserole I can make 
versus
Even if I overcooked this rice AGAIN, this meal will nourish my husband's body and is an act of love and service unto him and the Lord


or 


This room needs that Pottery Barn area rug to bring all of the colors together 
versus
The Lord gave me this home to use as a vessel for His hospitality and a refuge for my family, not as a showcase of my own taste or ability


There is a mystery in the balance of being Woman. It can all feel like a juggling act if we do not found ourselves on a good and loving Rock. At least, this is what I am learning on month 1, day 3 of being a wife.  I am also learning that everything--every thought, every expectation and every relationship is better clarified and more effective when passed through the filter of the Gospel. This, I believe, will take practice and eventually (well, prayerfully) become a part of who I am as  learn to love my new husband, my new neighbors, my new church and my new self.



1 comment:

  1. I'm more excited to start Esther now than before. :-) The balance is hard and Pottery Barn doesn't help when they send us that catalog every month.

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