Thursday, February 4, 2010

kiki & boppie

these are my sisters.
these two are my childhood.
i will always remember kiki as the freckled firecracker with a heart so big and soft it would bring any feeling adult to his knees.
i will forever picture boppie as the tan-legged little girl that you couldn't help but squeeze. she was quiet and precious. we dragged her into our pretend worlds. she was always a laid back little one--the peace of the Lord, i think.

i remember kiki and i would always fight over who got to sit next to hayley in the van--this was before we called her boppie. one day, hayley got out of her car seat and opened the van door, while we were driving. i was, what, 8 or 9, but my heart lurched forward, and i caught her just before she fell out.

i remember one day kiki was jumping out of a swing. she rolled onto her arm. it broke in two places. my dad took me to the hospital and i remember feeling like i needed to cry when i saw her--her tiny, sweet hands resting in-between two ice packs--too big for her, i remember. too big.

there is something about being a sister. maybe it's because i am the oldest. my daily and normal heart turns different around them. it gets bigger and protective and sensitive and aware. i swear my heart has a million eyes when i'm with them. i watch the boys watch them. i always feel the need to be one step ahead. i don't know if this is sin. i can't help it.
these are the kinds of things i wanted to protect them from. and now i know i can't--never could. i am just now coming to terms with the realization: they are the Lord's

i love you two. i don't even know if you read this blog, but i love you. you both make me so proud.

"i have the deepest affection for you"

kiki: keep jumping off swings

boppie: keep opening doors

you know where to run if it hurts, ok? -b





1 comment:

  1. If I didn't know it before, I now know that God has gifted you with written expression. WOW! I want to keep this one forever.

    ReplyDelete